Sunday, July 29, 2012

Rise

Shattered ribs. A loose tooth. Wobbling nose. You lie there, looking through the bright lights, ears searching for silence through the deafening roar of the crowd. Your vision is hazy and your mind wanders listlessly, succumbing to anything and everything around. The world comes to a standstill. Blood, bile and sweat. A small voice inside you tells you that its over. You were never meant to be. You thought you could, but deep down inside, you knew it was too much. You knew you couldn’t. you want to accept the cynical reality and let the count finish. You want it to be over. You want to get done with it. Down. Bleeding. Broken. You are through.

You allow the weight of your tilt head itself sideways, with one of ears pressing the ground, reducing the sound to hollowness. And then you see them. People. All staring back at you. It is over, you convey with your half closed eyes. I cant do this anymore, I knew it from the start, I tried, I tried real hard, but I couldn’t. I am sorry.

You close your eyes for a moment. You try to picture one face among the crowd who shared your sentiment. Possibly your mother, father, brother, sister, your friend or companion. You cant. You open your eyes. And try to read into everyone else’s. None of them reflect sympathy. You see disappointment. Hope. Concern. Determination. Faith. Patience. Belief. You look away.

And then, you look inside. Yourself. You try to find that voice that was so soothingly trying to make you give up. That was telling you that you were no good. That it was over. The voice doesn’t have that courage to tell you that again. It fades away into nothingness, where it belongs. A different voice speaks up. A harsh one. A real one. Its Rocky. “The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done.”

You open your eyes. You hear the count ending, you hear the crowd chanting, you hear the opponent snickering, but most importantly, you hear yourself. Its not yet over. You rest your weight on your stronger knee and reach for the rope. The tooth falls off and you hear your ribs clattering. The crowd chants louder, as you muster up all of your courage and strength to get back on your feet. The pain is incomparable, but as you rise, ten thousand people rise with you, clapping, shouting, hollering. You can barely walk, but you hold your stance and smile at the astonishment written all over your opponent’s face. There is no pain. No disappointment. No concern, hope or faith now. All you can see is victory. All everyone can see is victory. It doesn’t matter if take a another blow and drop down again, it doesn’t matter if you lose.You have risen. You have already won.



Sunday, June 10, 2012

He said it all in one line.

"You loving someone ...as a friend or beyond...is apparently still not a good enough reason to expect that your feelings will be always respected..
very heart-rending..
and unfair..
but true."

--Rahul Goswami