warning::: long post ahead
I ve been edging myself to write about this topic but there was this unnecessary reluctance in ma mind whether to write it or not since i am, at least nowadays, giving an impression to the reader that i am self centered and pompous by writing about myself..but o well anyways..here goes....
i ve always believed that there are voices inside one s head...to tell you what to do...when...how...etc...to decide things...to distinguish between right and wrong...and more...they re always there...whether ur sleeping or standing or walking or shitting...they never cease...they go on continuously with their blabber ....some of it useful...most of it useless...and surprisingly even when your whole body is down and out...ur back is pleading you to lie down..ur limbs are giving up on you...you just want to forget about everything and rest...even in those times...these voices are there...dominating your course of action...guiding you....directing you...consoling you....reprimanding you....criticizing you...supporting you...ppl like to call them thoughts...or ideas...or opinions ...i call them voices coz at least in my head they er always shouting orders to me....
k...where was i...aah yes...voices...this is not a general view coz i dunno how others head works....am talking solely about my empty 4 into 4 inch container above my neck...there are a million voices in my head...but only a few of them dominate others....and remain...forever,,,,one is the self critic..always tellin me that i ve done something horrible...if not then he s kind enough to tel me what a worthless piece of shit i am...he s the most powerful thing on ma mind...dunno how and to tame him.....the other one is the positive thinker...i cal him the pusher....he s a die hard optimist...always helping supporting...pushing me ahead with all his enthusiasm....these two keep fighting all the time...and i have to sit back and listen to the one who wins....and there is one more....the enlightened one....one who believes that no matter how much i struggle i am going to get what i am destined for and that there is no use struggling as life lays down a path for us to follow.....i find this guy the most stable one but he lacks aggression so ends up on the losing side all the time...these 3 voices form more than 3 quarters of my mind....we discuss...we look...we analyse...and we implement....when there is balance between these 3...i am stable....otherwise...i am a wreck....
now i ll try to give you the most honest insight....on the day my exams got over....scenario....have just reached home....its 9.30 in the night.....lets see whats going through my mind...
characters:::
critic voice::: cv
optimistic voice::: ov
enlightened voice::: ev
...and myself::: me
i just reach home....take my shoes off...just when i am taking the bag off, cv starts with his one liners....
cv:: "before you even try to think about resting your worthless ass on the bed, please try to remember that you have a big decision pending....you have been toying with this for quite some time now and a decision is urgently required as its difficult to do both....cmon...cat or gre...temme quick...."
i grumble ...trying not to pay attention to what cv has just said...but he s already done the damage....and he knows it...
me::: "am trying to get some rest here....i just came home...can i not relax and talk later?"
cv::::"o yes i am so sorry for disturbing your highness as i conveniently forgot what a brilliant paper u wrote today...i agree u totally deserve the rest...."
that stings....goes straight through my heart...shit....i start losing composure once again...just then,,,
ov::: "dont listen to him yug....he s just meant to bring u down...big deal if one ppr didnt go ur way....there will be a million chances later....and u have to learn from this so that u dont repeat the blunders committed before ....u ll never learn if u dont commit mistakes...."
cv:::: "now i see wer he gets his losing nature from....if u constantly live under the blanket of these false assurances yug,, u ll never progress in ur life...be practical...just say that u have become a waste..."
ov:::: "thats not true...try to rem the times wen u wer down and u told ur self that u ll work hard and u did....so pull urself up...your the best...you can u will u must!!!"
cv:::: "ppl here are so good at talking bullshit...."
i really dont know what to do...so i just lie down and close my eyes....unfortunately that doesnt help my situation....these voices get louder,....
cv::: "ok loser...we r moving away from the topic...decide...mba or ms?"
Me:: "i odnt really know..."
cv::: "wow....u do me proud bro....at least i got a pat reply for this question....now i know wat ur confident about...ur confident about the fact that u dont know anything and cant make one straight decision,,,,"
ov::::"lets see...and cv u shut up...yug u can do an mba....cat is difficult i know dat...but u hav the skills and aptitude to crack it..."
cv::: "whoooooooooaaaaaaaa!!! there!!!! may i beg to interrupt.....a little status check here....a handful of the aspirants aactly make it to the mba courses....and may i remind u tht cat is one of the toughest exams in the world....and may i refer to wat happened at ur previous try at a really competitive exam? The iit? U sukd dude...u sukd really bad...so think again..."
ov::: "iit was a different issue...there was loads of pressure....mba is much abt aptitude than knowing many things....so there is a difference,...and it can be exploited..."
i dunno y i did this but i mustered some courae to try and open another window of opportunity by mentioning gre....i thot that would silence cv....i needed to outwit him....in vain again....
cv:::: "gre??? oho...the person who stil struggles with errors to write lab programs wants to do masters in computers.....i dont why but that didnt tickle....are you trying to joke....cos tht wasnt funny......accept it ur technically challlenged...."
i was getting irritated....this was one of the times wen cv dominated and ov was at the loss of words...i hated that....this was one of the time i feel low and depressed....but i wasnt gonna let tht happen to me on tht day...at least not on the day the exams end,...so i begged ev to get me out of the situation...ev was listening to the conversation for a long time.....
ev:::: "i think you both need to give yug a little time...its fair of him to think tht his exams are over and he does need rest...therz no use workin ur mind wen it is tired....decisions...these are some things tht we hav to take...but it may be remembered that indecision is also a decision...so it would be foolish to say that i have made this decision...things happen for ppl....same way decisions also ohappen and they are not taken....there wil be an omen tellin u wat ur decidin is incorrect...o sorry...nothin is incorrect...the omen wil tel u whether wat ur decidin is FOR YOU OR NOT....so its pointless thinkin abt it ay and night esply on the day the exams end...it is a time to relax...recouperate....and refreshen ourselves so tht we r natural enough to avoid disruptances in the path of our thinking and our omens....so for now we are not taking this conversation farther and not thinking about it for the time being..."
i smile and open my eyes to see food kept on the table....am still with my socks on and the same clothes on....the clock reads 1 a.m....i get up wash ma face....devour all the food....put the lights off ...and lie down again...closing my eyes...wen slowly as expected....cv starts off again.....
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
oh shi(f)t ! ! !
hi. exams on. Less time. So no updates.....this was one article i had written on may 10th n i dont have the patience to edit it...
its may 10th. I have roughly 10 days to go for my sem 4 exams (read: death) to commence and here i am. Tired. Bored. Frustrated. (blame it on i.e.m.!!!). even more so because my vivas ended day before yesterday. I need a break but given the situation i am in, its better to start early.
There are some things which i get annoyed at really quickly. One of them is my parents not telling me some things which they should. They think that it will get me thinking into these things and affect me.
Bullshit.
Lately, i had been hearing the 'shift' word a lot in the maa-baap conversations (i tend to accidently eavesdrop sometimes when i am in the kitchen making myself a snack) . The discussion had taken several forms like argument, debate, vociferous declaration and what not. Especially my mom(i guess all moms are like this). I confronted my dad and he told me to mentally prepare myself as we are moving out of the house to a new one by the end of june. Even though i was expecting this, my hands and feet went cold. Now cmon, i ve been living in this house for about 17 years. You dont expect me to be happy to leave it!!
its so bad. Shifting sucks. Dad said that there was a chance that wouldnt happen and i pray so. But its a very thin chance. Might as well forget about it. I ll miss my friends. Goes without saying. But some subtle things have been such a part and parcel of my life that i cant imagine my life without them....
... the daily morning 4 o clock noise of the milk truck.
...the sweet scent of chocolate wrappers in my building lift.
...the awesome sea view from my terrace.
...my early morning jog at the race course.
...smell of horse shit along my way around the race course towards mahalaxmi station everyday.
...the futile wait for bus 124.
...the sweet scent of agarbatti in the passage corridor.(courtesy::neighbour)
...the ganesh visarjan proceedings in my colony every year.
...the broken glass windows of the opposite buildings reminding me of my school days when we used to play cricket and broke those so conveniently(and how the govt has been incapable of repairing them even now!!).
...the empty 8.17 borivali slow everyday.
...sams-the best hajjam in tardeo.
...haji ali juice centre.
...walks along worli sea face.
...troubling couples making out near lala lajpatrai college.
...tnmc ground beside my building..
...the 20 yr old rajdoot(its a bike..dunno whose but it looks awesome!! lol!!)
...difficulty in crossing the 6 lane road at haji ali stretch.
...the 9 to 10 timepass below with friends.
...my room (sob sob!!)
...tardeo book center ( my saviour throughout!!!)
...sardar pav bhaji
...kalpana restaurant
...city bakery
...flora
...sealord
..paschim
(the last 6 are restaurants!!!)
...the every sunday football in lala lajpatrai colg compound
...an isolated place near breach candy
...the irritating tune on opening the lift door
...phoenix mills
...the easy access to town
...THE TAXI!!!!
...the usual 6.5 sec delay of my room tubelight
...my rooms dirty curtains
...throwing water on bhelpuriwala below
...still but unusuallly moving cars, at the back of lala colg quadrangle!!!!(lol)
...worli police swimming pool
,....the list is endless but i wont bore the reader (if any) furthur!!!!!!!
bottomline:: i dont want to shift!!!!!!
its may 10th. I have roughly 10 days to go for my sem 4 exams (read: death) to commence and here i am. Tired. Bored. Frustrated. (blame it on i.e.m.!!!). even more so because my vivas ended day before yesterday. I need a break but given the situation i am in, its better to start early.
There are some things which i get annoyed at really quickly. One of them is my parents not telling me some things which they should. They think that it will get me thinking into these things and affect me.
Bullshit.
Lately, i had been hearing the 'shift' word a lot in the maa-baap conversations (i tend to accidently eavesdrop sometimes when i am in the kitchen making myself a snack) . The discussion had taken several forms like argument, debate, vociferous declaration and what not. Especially my mom(i guess all moms are like this). I confronted my dad and he told me to mentally prepare myself as we are moving out of the house to a new one by the end of june. Even though i was expecting this, my hands and feet went cold. Now cmon, i ve been living in this house for about 17 years. You dont expect me to be happy to leave it!!
its so bad. Shifting sucks. Dad said that there was a chance that wouldnt happen and i pray so. But its a very thin chance. Might as well forget about it. I ll miss my friends. Goes without saying. But some subtle things have been such a part and parcel of my life that i cant imagine my life without them....
... the daily morning 4 o clock noise of the milk truck.
...the sweet scent of chocolate wrappers in my building lift.
...the awesome sea view from my terrace.
...my early morning jog at the race course.
...smell of horse shit along my way around the race course towards mahalaxmi station everyday.
...the futile wait for bus 124.
...the sweet scent of agarbatti in the passage corridor.(courtesy::neighbour)
...the ganesh visarjan proceedings in my colony every year.
...the broken glass windows of the opposite buildings reminding me of my school days when we used to play cricket and broke those so conveniently(and how the govt has been incapable of repairing them even now!!).
...the empty 8.17 borivali slow everyday.
...sams-the best hajjam in tardeo.
...haji ali juice centre.
...walks along worli sea face.
...troubling couples making out near lala lajpatrai college.
...tnmc ground beside my building..
...the 20 yr old rajdoot(its a bike..dunno whose but it looks awesome!! lol!!)
...difficulty in crossing the 6 lane road at haji ali stretch.
...the 9 to 10 timepass below with friends.
...my room (sob sob!!)
...tardeo book center ( my saviour throughout!!!)
...sardar pav bhaji
...kalpana restaurant
...city bakery
...flora
...sealord
..paschim
(the last 6 are restaurants!!!)
...the every sunday football in lala lajpatrai colg compound
...an isolated place near breach candy
...the irritating tune on opening the lift door
...phoenix mills
...the easy access to town
...THE TAXI!!!!
...the usual 6.5 sec delay of my room tubelight
...my rooms dirty curtains
...throwing water on bhelpuriwala below
...still but unusuallly moving cars, at the back of lala colg quadrangle!!!!(lol)
...worli police swimming pool
,....the list is endless but i wont bore the reader (if any) furthur!!!!!!!
bottomline:: i dont want to shift!!!!!!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Manu.
warning:: long post ahead.....
I was in the 10 th standard at that time. It was in the evening, after schoolthat I was walking towards the bus stop. there was traffic at one spot and to avoid it I decided to walk some distance and catch a bus from the left junction. I took a left and walked humming on a new song..and I saw her.
She was a short, bright child who seemed to be 9or 10 years old though she claimed to be 13. she was sitting below a street lamp with a basket of vegetables in front of her and two books on her lap. That bright angel-like face , her deep dark eyes and her cute little smile………..i can remember till today. She was dressed almost in rags, but she sat with some dignity.
I approached her little ‘shop’. My shadow appeared on her books and she looked up at me. What a sweet little child she was!!!! She smiled and asked me which vegetables she wanted. I didn’t answer.
“ what are you reading?”
“English balbharti”
the cover showed std.5.
“which school do you go to?”
“I don’t go to school. One of the school children was kind enough to give it to me.”
“how do u know to read if u don’t go to school?”
“I went to school for 3 years but dropped out as I couldn’t afford the minimal; fees.”
“is that why you are selling vegetables? To gather enough money to go to school again?”
“no.i am doing this because my father cant sell vegetables today.”
I enquired why.
“because he s drunk again and hitting my mother at home.”
There was no remorse or sadness in her voice. All throughout the conversation her pitch was jovial and happy.
“what is your name?”
“manu.”
I took out my wallet. 45 bucks. 5 to go home. I took 40 bucks and handed it over to her.
She stared at the money and innocently enquired how many vegetables I needed.
“those are for your books. Buy more. Read more.”
Her smile faded. She stood up held her hand in front. she didn’t want the money.
“thank you, but I am not a beggar. I sell to earn money.”
Surprised. I didn’t expect such a reaction.
“I am not treating you as a beggar. Keep it for now.. return it later when you think u can.. for now get more books.”
She clutched at the notes. The reluctance was obvious.
“please give me ur address and tel. No.”
shit. She was adamant.
“you wouldn’t need that. I ll meet you soon.”
Saying that I walked away, not looking back, praying that she wont come up and hand me the money. I I gave her money to console myself . to make me feel that I tried to do at least something for that poor girl. I got into my bus and headed home.
3 years later, I walked down the same lane towards my school to take my passing certificate. The clerk wasn’t there. Disappointed, I was returning to my bus stop when I saw a girl about average height, long hair, looking up to me, smiling. She had grown but I could never forget her innocent, sparkling eyes. Manu.
“you have grown, manu.”
“so have you…come with me.”
A dark middle aged man with grey hair was sitting in his vendor stall. The place was respectable, not shabby.
Manu led me to him, her father, and told him something in a language I couldn’t understand.
The deep lines on his face vanished and he smiled. He got up to his feet and shook my hand. He cleared his throat and said
““
I was of your age when I left my house. My father was a farmer with three sons and I was the youngest. We were a rich content family till the time we brothers started fighting for our share of land. All of us were married. I decided to come to mumbai.
We built a shop and I sold vegetables and fruits. We were quite happy. Then it all happened. In 1993, after the bomb blasts, riots took place and my shop and house were burned down. Everything I had saved for my family went up in flames. After things turned to normal, I had no shop, no savings, no home and a family to look after. I was angry and took up drinking. I used to remove my frustration on my wife sometimes. But we were never starved. I came to know the reason much later .my little girl used to sell vegetables and bring money for my family. When you gave her the money that day, she didn’t buy books. She bought medicines for her mother. I was ashamed of myself.””
He took out a handkerchief and tapped it under his moist eyes.
““
I resolved never to drink again and go back to rebuild my shattered business. It took time but my daughter edged me on. She supported me. And now we are happy and back to how we were.””
He reached out to manu and kissed her on the forehead.
“I know why you told her all that about returning the money and I know ypu wont accept it now.”
He took out the most red apples from his collection, packed them and handed it to me.
“as a token of my thanks to you my child. For helping a poor family.”
I took the bag, shook the man s extended hand. My hand was clammy with sweat .i couldn’t muster enough courage to look at manu again .when I finally did, she was there looking at me smiling her own innocent smile. It reminded me of that evening when I saw her first. Was this the same 10 year old who saved her family? how could a child so young understand so much and carry out such a difficult task all by herself> a shattered family? A drunk father? The time when most children play games and dance around… this child did so much…….
She was 5 years younger to me but I felt she was a hundred times more mature, than me.
I said good bye to manu and walked towards my bus stop. My head was begging me to stop all the thoughts racing through my head. My mind kept me on.
I caught my bus and took the last seat. For the first time in 9 years, I felt my eyes moisten.
I was in the 10 th standard at that time. It was in the evening, after schoolthat I was walking towards the bus stop. there was traffic at one spot and to avoid it I decided to walk some distance and catch a bus from the left junction. I took a left and walked humming on a new song..and I saw her.
She was a short, bright child who seemed to be 9or 10 years old though she claimed to be 13. she was sitting below a street lamp with a basket of vegetables in front of her and two books on her lap. That bright angel-like face , her deep dark eyes and her cute little smile………..i can remember till today. She was dressed almost in rags, but she sat with some dignity.
I approached her little ‘shop’. My shadow appeared on her books and she looked up at me. What a sweet little child she was!!!! She smiled and asked me which vegetables she wanted. I didn’t answer.
“ what are you reading?”
“English balbharti”
the cover showed std.5.
“which school do you go to?”
“I don’t go to school. One of the school children was kind enough to give it to me.”
“how do u know to read if u don’t go to school?”
“I went to school for 3 years but dropped out as I couldn’t afford the minimal; fees.”
“is that why you are selling vegetables? To gather enough money to go to school again?”
“no.i am doing this because my father cant sell vegetables today.”
I enquired why.
“because he s drunk again and hitting my mother at home.”
There was no remorse or sadness in her voice. All throughout the conversation her pitch was jovial and happy.
“what is your name?”
“manu.”
I took out my wallet. 45 bucks. 5 to go home. I took 40 bucks and handed it over to her.
She stared at the money and innocently enquired how many vegetables I needed.
“those are for your books. Buy more. Read more.”
Her smile faded. She stood up held her hand in front. she didn’t want the money.
“thank you, but I am not a beggar. I sell to earn money.”
Surprised. I didn’t expect such a reaction.
“I am not treating you as a beggar. Keep it for now.. return it later when you think u can.. for now get more books.”
She clutched at the notes. The reluctance was obvious.
“please give me ur address and tel. No.”
shit. She was adamant.
“you wouldn’t need that. I ll meet you soon.”
Saying that I walked away, not looking back, praying that she wont come up and hand me the money. I I gave her money to console myself . to make me feel that I tried to do at least something for that poor girl. I got into my bus and headed home.
3 years later, I walked down the same lane towards my school to take my passing certificate. The clerk wasn’t there. Disappointed, I was returning to my bus stop when I saw a girl about average height, long hair, looking up to me, smiling. She had grown but I could never forget her innocent, sparkling eyes. Manu.
“you have grown, manu.”
“so have you…come with me.”
A dark middle aged man with grey hair was sitting in his vendor stall. The place was respectable, not shabby.
Manu led me to him, her father, and told him something in a language I couldn’t understand.
The deep lines on his face vanished and he smiled. He got up to his feet and shook my hand. He cleared his throat and said
““
I was of your age when I left my house. My father was a farmer with three sons and I was the youngest. We were a rich content family till the time we brothers started fighting for our share of land. All of us were married. I decided to come to mumbai.
We built a shop and I sold vegetables and fruits. We were quite happy. Then it all happened. In 1993, after the bomb blasts, riots took place and my shop and house were burned down. Everything I had saved for my family went up in flames. After things turned to normal, I had no shop, no savings, no home and a family to look after. I was angry and took up drinking. I used to remove my frustration on my wife sometimes. But we were never starved. I came to know the reason much later .my little girl used to sell vegetables and bring money for my family. When you gave her the money that day, she didn’t buy books. She bought medicines for her mother. I was ashamed of myself.””
He took out a handkerchief and tapped it under his moist eyes.
““
I resolved never to drink again and go back to rebuild my shattered business. It took time but my daughter edged me on. She supported me. And now we are happy and back to how we were.””
He reached out to manu and kissed her on the forehead.
“I know why you told her all that about returning the money and I know ypu wont accept it now.”
He took out the most red apples from his collection, packed them and handed it to me.
“as a token of my thanks to you my child. For helping a poor family.”
I took the bag, shook the man s extended hand. My hand was clammy with sweat .i couldn’t muster enough courage to look at manu again .when I finally did, she was there looking at me smiling her own innocent smile. It reminded me of that evening when I saw her first. Was this the same 10 year old who saved her family? how could a child so young understand so much and carry out such a difficult task all by herself> a shattered family? A drunk father? The time when most children play games and dance around… this child did so much…….
She was 5 years younger to me but I felt she was a hundred times more mature, than me.
I said good bye to manu and walked towards my bus stop. My head was begging me to stop all the thoughts racing through my head. My mind kept me on.
I caught my bus and took the last seat. For the first time in 9 years, I felt my eyes moisten.
Monday, April 28, 2008
hava nahi aa raha hai!!!!
following is one of the most stupidest post i have ever written in my life....read at ur own risk....dont blame me later........i just wanted to try a present tense style of writing ...instead of a normal past tense approach....
time: 5:30 p.m....date...2 days before
commencement of vivas(yes...the 25 marks wala fadu vivas...in which the external
screws ur case)....am trying to study
sitting in college...gogo beside me....i
get bugged and call sinan...
" me: i need your hamachar(yes thats a
reference book dudes...we mu students do
refer ref books at times!!!!)....xerox
karna hai...where are you?
sinan(from now on will be referred as
chodu): ya get the xerox done...am at
bhavans ground with rahul(maddy) and
rohit(jungli)...doing lukkhagiri..hum log
hava khane aaye hain....get it done fast
have to go home...am leaving in 10
mins...."
i have been with chodu long enough to
understand what kind of crazy thoughts go
through his head...and i was pretty sure
this too was his idea..bhavans
ground...???...some stupid way to kil time
and entertain himself....
i hurry(hurrying means walking down aaram
se simultaneously searching for ppl whom i
no so thati can talk and waste more time
over them) to annu xerox and give the book
for photo-copying...on the way back to
college...(actualy bhavans ground)...i meet
ashwathi...i convince her to wait for me
and sinan as i tell her that we r all
leaving for home...i n ashwathi go to
bhavans ground...find junglii maddy n
chodu...sitting on the grass ...in the
middle of the ground....it is odd to see
them there.........3 ppl sitting down...and
no one else there....we walk up to
them....chodu starts off with his weird
face expressions...
" maddy: eh, hava nahi aa raha hai...
chodu: ayega re...patience rakh...
ashwathi:(laughing)
me: what are you ppl doing here?
chodu: hum log hai na(pauses...then makes
a really typical sinan face...the confused
as to what to say wala face)....tp kar rahe
hain...padh padh ke pak gaye....and its so
hot...so hava khane ke liye aaye hain..
....(laughter)........
maddy: eh, hava nahi aa raha hai...
junglii: rona band kar be...ayega..
maddy: nahi aa rha hai be...
ashwathi:(laughs).
the most important thing to notice is what
kind of stupid conversation is going on and
how inadverently we are participating in
it..
..junglii has nothing to do...so he picks a
stone...and aims at maddys shirt pocket...a
really stupid lukkha game commences...of
throwing stones at each other aiming at
each others pockets...everyone actively
participates in the most unique
contest...of throwing the maximumm no. of
stones in your opponents pocket...and am
saying it again and again to irritate the
reader...
...the main thing to be noted here is how
lukkha we are to play such a game , sitting
in the middle of our college ground with 2
days to go for our vivas...
"
me: hey lets go for a jog around the
ground...long time havent done that...
junglii agrees.
maddy: eh main bhaag nahi sakta be,...pagal
hai kya..
junglii: mote sale jog karne ka hai..
...
we start jogging...in a really stupid
way...run around like school children
....make enough noise and halla gulla and
other cheap stuff(courtesy:chodu) to
attract the attention oif the cricket team
thta has come to practice here and not to
mention the old nana nanis(who must be
discussing how the future of our country is
in danger looking at us..)...suddenly chodu
challenges junglii for a sprint....and both
end up panting at their own stupidity/....i
also end up sprinting with maddy only to
realise that i too (along with maddy) am in
no shape to run.........still i beat maddy
at it...(yes victory!)
we again come back to the same spot again
and sit down....and have nothing to talk
about and so we bore each other with trash
talk about how the vivas are going to
be...finally chodu saya that he s not going
home but studying with junglii and
maddy....coa...something which i dont want
to miss...i look at ashwathi and she gives
me the i
ll-kick-ur-ass-if-dont-come-with-me-to-the-
station look....of course she s right...i
make her wait for 30 mins just to tell her
that i am not leaving but studying in
college...i finally tell her to go alone
and i come back with sinan to college to
study...we do 1 chapter and we leave for
home...
...........really stupid post i
know........but i warned you in the
beginning!!!!
time: 5:30 p.m....date...2 days before
commencement of vivas(yes...the 25 marks wala fadu vivas...in which the external
screws ur case)....am trying to study
sitting in college...gogo beside me....i
get bugged and call sinan...
" me: i need your hamachar(yes thats a
reference book dudes...we mu students do
refer ref books at times!!!!)....xerox
karna hai...where are you?
sinan(from now on will be referred as
chodu): ya get the xerox done...am at
bhavans ground with rahul(maddy) and
rohit(jungli)...doing lukkhagiri..hum log
hava khane aaye hain....get it done fast
have to go home...am leaving in 10
mins...."
i have been with chodu long enough to
understand what kind of crazy thoughts go
through his head...and i was pretty sure
this too was his idea..bhavans
ground...???...some stupid way to kil time
and entertain himself....
i hurry(hurrying means walking down aaram
se simultaneously searching for ppl whom i
no so thati can talk and waste more time
over them) to annu xerox and give the book
for photo-copying...on the way back to
college...(actualy bhavans ground)...i meet
ashwathi...i convince her to wait for me
and sinan as i tell her that we r all
leaving for home...i n ashwathi go to
bhavans ground...find junglii maddy n
chodu...sitting on the grass ...in the
middle of the ground....it is odd to see
them there.........3 ppl sitting down...and
no one else there....we walk up to
them....chodu starts off with his weird
face expressions...
" maddy: eh, hava nahi aa raha hai...
chodu: ayega re...patience rakh...
ashwathi:(laughing)
me: what are you ppl doing here?
chodu: hum log hai na(pauses...then makes
a really typical sinan face...the confused
as to what to say wala face)....tp kar rahe
hain...padh padh ke pak gaye....and its so
hot...so hava khane ke liye aaye hain..
....(laughter)........
maddy: eh, hava nahi aa raha hai...
junglii: rona band kar be...ayega..
maddy: nahi aa rha hai be...
ashwathi:(laughs).
the most important thing to notice is what
kind of stupid conversation is going on and
how inadverently we are participating in
it..
..junglii has nothing to do...so he picks a
stone...and aims at maddys shirt pocket...a
really stupid lukkha game commences...of
throwing stones at each other aiming at
each others pockets...everyone actively
participates in the most unique
contest...of throwing the maximumm no. of
stones in your opponents pocket...and am
saying it again and again to irritate the
reader...
...the main thing to be noted here is how
lukkha we are to play such a game , sitting
in the middle of our college ground with 2
days to go for our vivas...
"
me: hey lets go for a jog around the
ground...long time havent done that...
junglii agrees.
maddy: eh main bhaag nahi sakta be,...pagal
hai kya..
junglii: mote sale jog karne ka hai..
...
we start jogging...in a really stupid
way...run around like school children
....make enough noise and halla gulla and
other cheap stuff(courtesy:chodu) to
attract the attention oif the cricket team
thta has come to practice here and not to
mention the old nana nanis(who must be
discussing how the future of our country is
in danger looking at us..)...suddenly chodu
challenges junglii for a sprint....and both
end up panting at their own stupidity/....i
also end up sprinting with maddy only to
realise that i too (along with maddy) am in
no shape to run.........still i beat maddy
at it...(yes victory!)
we again come back to the same spot again
and sit down....and have nothing to talk
about and so we bore each other with trash
talk about how the vivas are going to
be...finally chodu saya that he s not going
home but studying with junglii and
maddy....coa...something which i dont want
to miss...i look at ashwathi and she gives
me the i
ll-kick-ur-ass-if-dont-come-with-me-to-the-
station look....of course she s right...i
make her wait for 30 mins just to tell her
that i am not leaving but studying in
college...i finally tell her to go alone
and i come back with sinan to college to
study...we do 1 chapter and we leave for
home...
...........really stupid post i
know........but i warned you in the
beginning!!!!
Monday, April 14, 2008
awakening!!!!
mike was his name. a brilliant kid at school. one who never came second in his class.. one who was never out-skilled at football, basketball or swimming. one who excelled at all extra-curricular and co-curricular activities throughout his school life... he was perfect..and because of his nature..he wasnt envied at all...everyone used to be happy at his success..perfectionist!!!
as he passed out of school and entered colllege, something happened. mike wasnt the same. he was easily distracted and easy going..not what you would expect from a topper..his acads started to shake..but he recovered just in time....in syjc..he snapped back..not to his best ..but near about same enthusiasm was back...he scored well in his hsc and cet and managed to get into the second best engineering college in mumbai(iit not included in that count!!!!)
..he was satisfied..his parents too...but that was just the beginning.....
semester 1:..he couldnt adjust at all...to the new surroundings..especially the style of studying..so different..so difficult..and time was so less...all thanks to the great mumbai university..who has been screwing careers since god know how many years..sem1 exam and mike was trembling with fear...he did really badly and was worried ....but he cleared all subs...got a bad percentage but cleared..satisfaction again...but he swore to score in the second sem...unfortunately that too didnt happen bacause he got carried away ...3rd sem was a do or die situation for him...little did he realise that it was a do AND die situation...he studied really hard but still managed to suck at the exam.....
..mike was confused..afraid..disgusted..down..low..depressed..everyone had scored...except him..continuously he blamed himself for everything...thinking that its all over..his health started to deteriorate..badly..he thought of himself as someone who just couldnt do anything no matter how hard he tried...his health deteriorated furthur...he took no notice...."y me..y couldnt i .."..he kept ranting this all the time...his friends tried everything to get him out of it...but to no avail..his health was a serious issue now,,,because of lack of sleep and improper diet...he was continuosly puking blood....he went for a checkup and the doc told him that he may be sufferring from cancer...and to carry out some carcinogenic tests....mike heard that but didnt move a muscle...he seriously didnt feel anything..after 2 weeks of tests and regular visits to the doc..the test results were negative..his friends and family were really happy for him...but he still didnt feel anything...because something in him had changed when his doc had told him that he may have cancer..he wasnt scared..he just realised that if he did suffer from it and was going to die a early death..then what would he look back upon his life as? the useless struggle he s been through? the continous cribbing that life is unfair? the eternally depressing thoughts which used to haunt his mind??? the hell-ranting suicidal tendencies??? what was he going to look back upon???...
...that day itself, mike had changed...even before the test results came...he was this happy jolly person...he stil has a long way to go...he stil has to work hard..he s stil in a bad position as far as acads are concerned..but hes not depressed..and i hope he succeeds this time...cause if he does then he ll carry this attitude throughout his life"".....
life is a journey...you cant stop in between saying that i didnt get what i want...look around you...not everyone has got what they want...it may even be possible that they have got and you havent.but that s their destiny not yours..you didnt get it because it wasnt meant for you...it wasnt YOURS. destiny is fixed for everyone. it lays down a path for us to follow. we follow it not knowing what the outcome may be..thats the fun of it...that is life..if everyone knew what they were going to be in the future, then whats the point? we are al groping in the dark trying to find our destinies..in the process if one can remain happy..he lives a good life..if he doesnt then stil he gets wat hes destined to but leads a very depressing life..
so the next time you are low..think of it as a sin...nothing is as imporatant as your soul..you cant trouble it...its priceless...happiness is not an achievement...it never was..it has become an achievement...when you were small did u need a reason to be happy? u were always happy n someone had to make you sad to change your state of mind....now someoene has to make you happy..what a bad transformation..there is still time...change yourself...it ll take some time but its not difficult...work hard but at the end dont crib if you dont get something,,accept it....remember this--
" PEOPLE SAY WHATEVER HAPPENS IS FOR THE GOOD..BULLSHIT..REFRAME IT...
WHATEVER HAPPENS ..IT IS MINE!...AND I AM PROUD OF IT NO MATTER WHAT..."
people will talk as they always do...like i said their job is to talk...about others...dont listen to them..do what you think is right..and care a fuck...always...
look up to yourself...its the most important thing..live for the moment..rape the past fuck the future...one of them you cant change and the other you dont know...at this moment i am writing all this bullshit and thats all i am thinking about...
and b positive!
amen!!!!!
as he passed out of school and entered colllege, something happened. mike wasnt the same. he was easily distracted and easy going..not what you would expect from a topper..his acads started to shake..but he recovered just in time....in syjc..he snapped back..not to his best ..but near about same enthusiasm was back...he scored well in his hsc and cet and managed to get into the second best engineering college in mumbai(iit not included in that count!!!!)
..he was satisfied..his parents too...but that was just the beginning.....
semester 1:..he couldnt adjust at all...to the new surroundings..especially the style of studying..so different..so difficult..and time was so less...all thanks to the great mumbai university..who has been screwing careers since god know how many years..sem1 exam and mike was trembling with fear...he did really badly and was worried ....but he cleared all subs...got a bad percentage but cleared..satisfaction again...but he swore to score in the second sem...unfortunately that too didnt happen bacause he got carried away ...3rd sem was a do or die situation for him...little did he realise that it was a do AND die situation...he studied really hard but still managed to suck at the exam.....
..mike was confused..afraid..disgusted..down..low..depressed..everyone had scored...except him..continuously he blamed himself for everything...thinking that its all over..his health started to deteriorate..badly..he thought of himself as someone who just couldnt do anything no matter how hard he tried...his health deteriorated furthur...he took no notice...."y me..y couldnt i .."..he kept ranting this all the time...his friends tried everything to get him out of it...but to no avail..his health was a serious issue now,,,because of lack of sleep and improper diet...he was continuosly puking blood....he went for a checkup and the doc told him that he may be sufferring from cancer...and to carry out some carcinogenic tests....mike heard that but didnt move a muscle...he seriously didnt feel anything..after 2 weeks of tests and regular visits to the doc..the test results were negative..his friends and family were really happy for him...but he still didnt feel anything...because something in him had changed when his doc had told him that he may have cancer..he wasnt scared..he just realised that if he did suffer from it and was going to die a early death..then what would he look back upon his life as? the useless struggle he s been through? the continous cribbing that life is unfair? the eternally depressing thoughts which used to haunt his mind??? the hell-ranting suicidal tendencies??? what was he going to look back upon???...
...that day itself, mike had changed...even before the test results came...he was this happy jolly person...he stil has a long way to go...he stil has to work hard..he s stil in a bad position as far as acads are concerned..but hes not depressed..and i hope he succeeds this time...cause if he does then he ll carry this attitude throughout his life"".....
life is a journey...you cant stop in between saying that i didnt get what i want...look around you...not everyone has got what they want...it may even be possible that they have got and you havent.but that s their destiny not yours..you didnt get it because it wasnt meant for you...it wasnt YOURS. destiny is fixed for everyone. it lays down a path for us to follow. we follow it not knowing what the outcome may be..thats the fun of it...that is life..if everyone knew what they were going to be in the future, then whats the point? we are al groping in the dark trying to find our destinies..in the process if one can remain happy..he lives a good life..if he doesnt then stil he gets wat hes destined to but leads a very depressing life..
so the next time you are low..think of it as a sin...nothing is as imporatant as your soul..you cant trouble it...its priceless...happiness is not an achievement...it never was..it has become an achievement...when you were small did u need a reason to be happy? u were always happy n someone had to make you sad to change your state of mind....now someoene has to make you happy..what a bad transformation..there is still time...change yourself...it ll take some time but its not difficult...work hard but at the end dont crib if you dont get something,,accept it....remember this--
" PEOPLE SAY WHATEVER HAPPENS IS FOR THE GOOD..BULLSHIT..REFRAME IT...
WHATEVER HAPPENS ..IT IS MINE!...AND I AM PROUD OF IT NO MATTER WHAT..."
people will talk as they always do...like i said their job is to talk...about others...dont listen to them..do what you think is right..and care a fuck...always...
look up to yourself...its the most important thing..live for the moment..rape the past fuck the future...one of them you cant change and the other you dont know...at this moment i am writing all this bullshit and thats all i am thinking about...
and b positive!
amen!!!!!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
arsenal...........again!
out of the f.a. cup.........out of the champions league..........and 5 draws and a loss in the premier league...leaves arsenal with nothing left to fight for........its sad to see a tired , injured , low-on-bench strength arsenal sqad line up against filthy rich clubs with so many signings....still we play the best football ...call me a hopeless gunner.....but i still believe in flair.........and arsenal plays that best..........whatever u say.....no one can steal that from the young gunners...so many things happened this season.cant forget the tackle on eduardo...god bless you man......hope to see you running again..."the beautiful game isnt so beautiful after all",.. eh pratap? but i can still hear manutd supporters shouting last season that arsenal is going to land up in bottom leg of the table....screw u guys...anyways..best of luck gunners.!
(am sorry mr. wenger but i still fail to understand y u play senderos...it really makes all arsenal supporters go red faced..!!! )
(am sorry mr. wenger but i still fail to understand y u play senderos...it really makes all arsenal supporters go red faced..!!! )
random bullshit
...lets cut the "i havent-updated-ma-blog-for-a-long-time-excuses"...i ve plenty of things to talk about but just cant frame any of it in words...
lets see.....lets start with what s been happeneing lately.....college has become really dull....all i can see is people getting committed and in love and all that bullshit...not that i have any problem with that(!!!)...but o well anyways...thats all that sp is upto right now.......love is in the air in sp....bullshit...seriously....whatever.......midterms came nd went.......dont ask........vivas and submissions coming up fast....dont ask about that either....chai club goin on fine....pcomm project gone to the dogs...but even the dogs are finding it useless(sorry for the sick humour...am plain mindfucked)...prataps really busy with his insignia work(sorry dude ...really couldnt write for the mag)..dimple too ....sinan had his head shaved again...i dont know.......ask him why...saw brett getting broke for the first time...lol...saw rahul with money to spend...tht too for the first time...rohit and amey are obssessed with dota-warcraft...dont know what pleasure they derive...medhas tensed about her studies...(hahahah)...the terrible trio or what was tht ? achanak bhayanaks? ya they re fine.....still dont know y u did that noopur...u luk lik a chini now!...ashwathi is fine as always...sachin i guess has found his love after all......love screwing u man..........taha!!!ya dude will return ur belt shortly...as soon as i find it!!!!...hina has finally completed her diploma in sinan-education this week.,..she can now understand everythin almost as well as medha can ..lol...naveli following suit ................
nothing else to talk about for the time being.......will update soon.......cheeeeeeeeers!
lets see.....lets start with what s been happeneing lately.....college has become really dull....all i can see is people getting committed and in love and all that bullshit...not that i have any problem with that(!!!)...but o well anyways...thats all that sp is upto right now.......love is in the air in sp....bullshit...seriously....whatever.......midterms came nd went.......dont ask........vivas and submissions coming up fast....dont ask about that either....chai club goin on fine....pcomm project gone to the dogs...but even the dogs are finding it useless(sorry for the sick humour...am plain mindfucked)...prataps really busy with his insignia work(sorry dude ...really couldnt write for the mag)..dimple too ....sinan had his head shaved again...i dont know.......ask him why...saw brett getting broke for the first time...lol...saw rahul with money to spend...tht too for the first time...rohit and amey are obssessed with dota-warcraft...dont know what pleasure they derive...medhas tensed about her studies...(hahahah)...the terrible trio or what was tht ? achanak bhayanaks? ya they re fine.....still dont know y u did that noopur...u luk lik a chini now!...ashwathi is fine as always...sachin i guess has found his love after all......love screwing u man..........taha!!!ya dude will return ur belt shortly...as soon as i find it!!!!...hina has finally completed her diploma in sinan-education this week.,..she can now understand everythin almost as well as medha can ..lol...naveli following suit ................
nothing else to talk about for the time being.......will update soon.......cheeeeeeeeers!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
ieee trip jan 2007.....day 2:::::::::::::
continuing from wer i left....
the day began groggily..it was damn cold wen i first woke up.......ther wer no sounds practically....it was stil dark.....i looked around to see rahul awake....the oders wer still out cold...lost in their dreams....i n rahul got up...n started arrangin the middle berths...went abt our daily chores....stil no one was awake [not even u freddi!!!!]...finally everyone started stirrin..the ice had been broken....so we wer talkin more freely then.....n pratap was at his futile best in his attempt to wear my skull cap....[sorry dude....ur heads way too big...plus the hair!! lol!!]...dimple tried it on too....n she was lookin lik a baccha in it ..lol! did i evr tel u dimp tht i had dandruff???? lol!!! [kiddin dimp!! i dont!]...we wer talkin nd lafin at som stupidity....wen we finally reached bangalore....i don rem the name of the station....it was pretty big[ ah curse ma fkin memory]...we gathered our luggage n assembled at the place wer we wer supposed to....i dunno y but i went bak abt 3 times to ma berth searchin for ma skull cap.....only to find it in ma hand!
ther was some prob abt the matching of names on the tickets of some sorts........so the seniors had to shell out a whole lotta money to convince the railway officials...
one whole day in the train plus one whole night.....enough to make us travel worn...stinky...nd tired....nd we had more travellin comin....our coorad led us to a bus.....i prayed tht we fe s would be together....n tht we wouldnt be stashed in a bus overflowing with "welcoming " se s....ma prayers wer fortunately answered....we wer all together..at the back of a bus....with some te s...........trust me..the tes wer real nice to us.....didnt expect tht but o wel neways.....we wer eagerly waitin for the bus to start ..wantd to get in to the hotel room n tak a shower....howevr destiny had oder plans....the buses stayed on for a lon time.......during which time we tried to fancy ourselves talkin shit abt ourselves....taha n sinan wer at their useless best....the bus finally moved but the driver put on a himesh song!!! aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggh!!!! [didnt know that chut was famous there too]....because of the outcry the driver changed the song to some kannad folk song.....not tht we liked tht..but nethings better than himesh!! lol!!
we wer playin dum charades [hope i got the spellin rite] wen the bus came up to halt....the hotel was lookin great.......after snatching a quick breakfast os medu wadas nd idlis [pratap!!!! medu wadas!!!!!lol!!!] we realised that the se s wer to stay at tht place not us....we didnt know wer we wer going to be stashed...the bus didnt move at all for a long time...,,,medha wasnt feelin wel so she went to stay at her relatives place in bangalore.......while the te s sorted allocation problem....we fe s found a football ground....[wel it wasnt a football ground considering the dump lying der..but who cares neways]...but we started playin coz there was nothin else to do.......we seriously had a prob .....we wer stinking bad and in desparate need of a bath....but the bus wasnt going newer.....finally they moved us all fe s n tes to another hotel...this one was good too.....but the only prob was tht the room which we fe boys got didnt hav an attached bath room.......not did tht matter.........we wer jus so haoppy to find a place wer we caould bathe....n change.....fe boys..i ve used tht term jus to make u ppl aware tht this term is much more than wat it seems to be....it is supposed to be one the most downtrodden class ever on the trip.lol! no regrtes ppl...we enjoyed every moment of it.......it was nearly evenin wen we bathed lol!!! we waited for the girls to finish [seriously how much time they took!!]/...n then went on to find a decent restaurant ....ther was this great mall over ther..i forgot the name...again! [pratap sinan fred dimp...i need thou help....wat was the name of tht mall?]........we loitered around for sometime...nd then taha saw it! THE HUNGRY BUDHHA! [wel its the name of the restaurant wat r u gawking at me for?]...it was great...how much we ate over there for so little money....cant ever forget it....after dinner we wer walkin towards our hotel wen sompne suggested ccd...at tht time the stupid self inside me was at his maximum....so ashwathi(i didnt know her well then)...said something abt me exchanging footwear wid swati.....nd lik the dumbest idiotic downright foolish person..i said i don mind......now trust me i sriously dunno y i did tht...but ya we exchanged footwear.......no. 5 sandals....tht really suked........cudnt even get ma feet halfway in! n then we had to walk into ccd lik tht.....n thers wer it all started...the real fun.....the absolutely senseless behavior [plz don mind me takin credit for tht guys!]....n ya in ccd...i bret sinan wer starin at this absolutely hot chick sittin two tables away.[dimp don argue wid me.....u wer facin the opp way n ya brett was staring!! lolz!]...taha as usual was all excited abt the new shoe sandal drama..nd was talkin shit...well everyone was....one of things i regret doin actually.....too late to change it now....we all went to the hotel after finishin our coffees...n thenn changed...gettin ready for bed...dunno y though.....no one was gonna sleep neway.....someone suggested that we all play cards....everyone gathered in our room.....nd the pathetic game of napolean started.....i nevr liked that game ..[thts because it requires brains n a good memory n u dont qualify for neither dum fuck!!].ohh sorry abt that...that was ma dual image...[u dirty faggot..u copied this idea from prataps blog didnt u...u bastard...how abt being original..fuck nut..]...jus then ayush n ankur entered the room .....n they told us to seriously own up for something....a feeling of surprise n confusion everywer....they told us to own up if we had alcohol!! lol!!!!! they tol us later tht it was just a joke....then it all started....ya..RAGGING!!!! we wer taken into a room full of te s ....me n pratap wer the first bakras....they tol us to sit facing each oder....n ask questions....if one hesitates the oder slaps him....[pratap.u fker....u hit me real hard!!!!lol!!!!]...loads of shit followed....me n sinan doin nagin dance around brett.....pratap, taha, n gurtej askin out harsh parekh.....we enactin out taha s wildest fantasy!! [taha u dick head...ur wildest fantasy is runnin butt naked on marine drive with a dog chasin u? lol!].....we also had to for band...brett playin the guitar[taha!!]....drums [me]...n i forgot wat the oders wer.....sorry....we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves....n retired to our rooms...sinan went out cold immediately while i n brett kept blabberin....jus then sinan s cell vibrated...it was a messg from taha askin him if i n brett wer asleep so tht they cud paste us...i replied in the affirmative nd we pretended to b asleep waitin for them with toothpaste nd water.....pratap n taha enterd shortly...but slyly...nd wer jus abt to paste us wen i n brett shouted ...fk u.....n pasted both taha nd pratap....they wer in for a big surprise....taken aback they flicked on the lights only to find me n brett grinnin back at them.....pratap, bein unsuccessful, vent all his frustration on the sleeping sinan by pasting his hair really bad...!!!....he woke up wondering wat he did wrong lol!! then at 4 in da mornin we wer in the bathroon tryin to clean ourselves of the toothpaste on out shirts hair!!!!........we went bak to sleep after havin a great day!!!!!!!!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz'sssssss
p.s.: sorry for the long post........nd ya i was the dog in that stupid fantasy play k?
the day began groggily..it was damn cold wen i first woke up.......ther wer no sounds practically....it was stil dark.....i looked around to see rahul awake....the oders wer still out cold...lost in their dreams....i n rahul got up...n started arrangin the middle berths...went abt our daily chores....stil no one was awake [not even u freddi!!!!]...finally everyone started stirrin..the ice had been broken....so we wer talkin more freely then.....n pratap was at his futile best in his attempt to wear my skull cap....[sorry dude....ur heads way too big...plus the hair!! lol!!]...dimple tried it on too....n she was lookin lik a baccha in it ..lol! did i evr tel u dimp tht i had dandruff???? lol!!! [kiddin dimp!! i dont!]...we wer talkin nd lafin at som stupidity....wen we finally reached bangalore....i don rem the name of the station....it was pretty big[ ah curse ma fkin memory]...we gathered our luggage n assembled at the place wer we wer supposed to....i dunno y but i went bak abt 3 times to ma berth searchin for ma skull cap.....only to find it in ma hand!
ther was some prob abt the matching of names on the tickets of some sorts........so the seniors had to shell out a whole lotta money to convince the railway officials...
one whole day in the train plus one whole night.....enough to make us travel worn...stinky...nd tired....nd we had more travellin comin....our coorad led us to a bus.....i prayed tht we fe s would be together....n tht we wouldnt be stashed in a bus overflowing with "welcoming " se s....ma prayers wer fortunately answered....we wer all together..at the back of a bus....with some te s...........trust me..the tes wer real nice to us.....didnt expect tht but o wel neways.....we wer eagerly waitin for the bus to start ..wantd to get in to the hotel room n tak a shower....howevr destiny had oder plans....the buses stayed on for a lon time.......during which time we tried to fancy ourselves talkin shit abt ourselves....taha n sinan wer at their useless best....the bus finally moved but the driver put on a himesh song!!! aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggh!!!! [didnt know that chut was famous there too]....because of the outcry the driver changed the song to some kannad folk song.....not tht we liked tht..but nethings better than himesh!! lol!!
we wer playin dum charades [hope i got the spellin rite] wen the bus came up to halt....the hotel was lookin great.......after snatching a quick breakfast os medu wadas nd idlis [pratap!!!! medu wadas!!!!!lol!!!] we realised that the se s wer to stay at tht place not us....we didnt know wer we wer going to be stashed...the bus didnt move at all for a long time...,,,medha wasnt feelin wel so she went to stay at her relatives place in bangalore.......while the te s sorted allocation problem....we fe s found a football ground....[wel it wasnt a football ground considering the dump lying der..but who cares neways]...but we started playin coz there was nothin else to do.......we seriously had a prob .....we wer stinking bad and in desparate need of a bath....but the bus wasnt going newer.....finally they moved us all fe s n tes to another hotel...this one was good too.....but the only prob was tht the room which we fe boys got didnt hav an attached bath room.......not did tht matter.........we wer jus so haoppy to find a place wer we caould bathe....n change.....fe boys..i ve used tht term jus to make u ppl aware tht this term is much more than wat it seems to be....it is supposed to be one the most downtrodden class ever on the trip.lol! no regrtes ppl...we enjoyed every moment of it.......it was nearly evenin wen we bathed lol!!! we waited for the girls to finish [seriously how much time they took!!]/...n then went on to find a decent restaurant ....ther was this great mall over ther..i forgot the name...again! [pratap sinan fred dimp...i need thou help....wat was the name of tht mall?]........we loitered around for sometime...nd then taha saw it! THE HUNGRY BUDHHA! [wel its the name of the restaurant wat r u gawking at me for?]...it was great...how much we ate over there for so little money....cant ever forget it....after dinner we wer walkin towards our hotel wen sompne suggested ccd...at tht time the stupid self inside me was at his maximum....so ashwathi(i didnt know her well then)...said something abt me exchanging footwear wid swati.....nd lik the dumbest idiotic downright foolish person..i said i don mind......now trust me i sriously dunno y i did tht...but ya we exchanged footwear.......no. 5 sandals....tht really suked........cudnt even get ma feet halfway in! n then we had to walk into ccd lik tht.....n thers wer it all started...the real fun.....the absolutely senseless behavior [plz don mind me takin credit for tht guys!]....n ya in ccd...i bret sinan wer starin at this absolutely hot chick sittin two tables away.[dimp don argue wid me.....u wer facin the opp way n ya brett was staring!! lolz!]...taha as usual was all excited abt the new shoe sandal drama..nd was talkin shit...well everyone was....one of things i regret doin actually.....too late to change it now....we all went to the hotel after finishin our coffees...n thenn changed...gettin ready for bed...dunno y though.....no one was gonna sleep neway.....someone suggested that we all play cards....everyone gathered in our room.....nd the pathetic game of napolean started.....i nevr liked that game ..[thts because it requires brains n a good memory n u dont qualify for neither dum fuck!!].ohh sorry abt that...that was ma dual image...[u dirty faggot..u copied this idea from prataps blog didnt u...u bastard...how abt being original..fuck nut..]...jus then ayush n ankur entered the room .....n they told us to seriously own up for something....a feeling of surprise n confusion everywer....they told us to own up if we had alcohol!! lol!!!!! they tol us later tht it was just a joke....then it all started....ya..RAGGING!!!! we wer taken into a room full of te s ....me n pratap wer the first bakras....they tol us to sit facing each oder....n ask questions....if one hesitates the oder slaps him....[pratap.u fker....u hit me real hard!!!!lol!!!!]...loads of shit followed....me n sinan doin nagin dance around brett.....pratap, taha, n gurtej askin out harsh parekh.....we enactin out taha s wildest fantasy!! [taha u dick head...ur wildest fantasy is runnin butt naked on marine drive with a dog chasin u? lol!].....we also had to for band...brett playin the guitar[taha!!]....drums [me]...n i forgot wat the oders wer.....sorry....we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves....n retired to our rooms...sinan went out cold immediately while i n brett kept blabberin....jus then sinan s cell vibrated...it was a messg from taha askin him if i n brett wer asleep so tht they cud paste us...i replied in the affirmative nd we pretended to b asleep waitin for them with toothpaste nd water.....pratap n taha enterd shortly...but slyly...nd wer jus abt to paste us wen i n brett shouted ...fk u.....n pasted both taha nd pratap....they wer in for a big surprise....taken aback they flicked on the lights only to find me n brett grinnin back at them.....pratap, bein unsuccessful, vent all his frustration on the sleeping sinan by pasting his hair really bad...!!!....he woke up wondering wat he did wrong lol!! then at 4 in da mornin we wer in the bathroon tryin to clean ourselves of the toothpaste on out shirts hair!!!!........we went bak to sleep after havin a great day!!!!!!!!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz'sssssss
p.s.: sorry for the long post........nd ya i was the dog in that stupid fantasy play k?
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
ieee trip jan 2007.....day 1
hello to everyone who s tolerant enuf to visit my pathetic blog n view all those shitty things which are an outcome of my utmost stupidity or delirium....well i ve got nothing to write abour n since the past few days i was wondering y no one has written nething abt the trip....of course guys it was THE TRIP after all.......so because pratap sinan or dimple cudnt take time off to write abt it...i , as selfless as ever, am willing to do the needful by giving the most explicit uncut version ever.....trust me this is more entertaining than road trip or euro trip!!.....day by day account...........
i never wanted to go for the trip everyone was sure tht its gonna be pay nd rag 9 day session for all of us.......but ma parents.as usual....they forced me to go...n thnk god for that!!! everyone was backing out n in the end only 14 fe s turned up....not to mention 120 se s and 84 te s!!! lolz!!!!
i stil rem the day before.......callin up ppl n askin them wat all to carry so tht nothins left behind........
day1:::::
..the trip...or the industrial visit as they say wa to bangalore-mysore-ooty-clicut.............i had to reach v.t.[oh sorry .c.s.t] at 6.45 in the morn....so dad was willin to drop me off.....i was too excited...this being ma first real trip outside mharashtra wid ma frnds.....i reached c.s.t. by a quarter to 7.....pratap was already der....he was the "opening batsman " as his father termed it!!...sooon the se s n te s started to arrive nd in no time all the fes wer der....me, pratap, gurtej, sinan, taha, brett,rahul dimple, ashwathi, swati, medha, pranali....well there was rohan khandelwal n rajeev safar also but i really didnt think they wer fe s!!! all along we thot rajeev was a t.e.!!!! lol!!! well rohans attire tht day was really worth describing!! we huddled together nervously watchin the se s n te s around us....finally our co ordinator came .....his name was gill,,,[brett heard it as jill....n i heard it as chill...lol!!]...he came up to us .......allotted athe seats in the train n our journey started.......
trust me..it was really boring.....we had to spend an entire day in the train nd a night also.......nd no one was willing to talk.......we played some card games but soon the enthusiasm wore off........n we sat lik really dumb ppl....sinan wasnt feelin well so he took leave of our company and took off to a land off limits to all normal ppl[am talkin abt his dreams if u got tht]....soon taha n pratap followed suit,,,,,i roamed abt for sometime...trying not to hav eye contact wid ne senior thinkin tht he would catch me n rag me lik hell!!!! the whole day passed by eventlessly.....we had some few entertaining chats wid the ocassional se n te passerbys....who wer giving all kinds of khunnas stares....lolz!the train food was bad as expected [am sorry i am crazy abt food n i hav to comment on it!!]..as night began to creep.....ppl started markin their berths....i had a middle left one wid rahul opp me.......medha above n dimple below....i constanly made efforts to c tht they didnt get a wink of sleep by banging empty plastic bottles on their berths.......brett was returning the favour by pullin everyones blankett every 2 mins........n then we saw them.....no not seniors! cockroaches!! lolz! we kept flickin the small ones at dimple [who got really pissed after one of the tiny ones climbed into her hair.......i swear dimp i saw it!!! lol!]..pratap taha gurtej aswathi swati wer sleepin in the next berth....soon sleep took hold of us.....nd zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
........to be continued........
i never wanted to go for the trip everyone was sure tht its gonna be pay nd rag 9 day session for all of us.......but ma parents.as usual....they forced me to go...n thnk god for that!!! everyone was backing out n in the end only 14 fe s turned up....not to mention 120 se s and 84 te s!!! lolz!!!!
i stil rem the day before.......callin up ppl n askin them wat all to carry so tht nothins left behind........
day1:::::
..the trip...or the industrial visit as they say wa to bangalore-mysore-ooty-clicut.............i had to reach v.t.[oh sorry .c.s.t] at 6.45 in the morn....so dad was willin to drop me off.....i was too excited...this being ma first real trip outside mharashtra wid ma frnds.....i reached c.s.t. by a quarter to 7.....pratap was already der....he was the "opening batsman " as his father termed it!!...sooon the se s n te s started to arrive nd in no time all the fes wer der....me, pratap, gurtej, sinan, taha, brett,rahul dimple, ashwathi, swati, medha, pranali....well there was rohan khandelwal n rajeev safar also but i really didnt think they wer fe s!!! all along we thot rajeev was a t.e.!!!! lol!!! well rohans attire tht day was really worth describing!! we huddled together nervously watchin the se s n te s around us....finally our co ordinator came .....his name was gill,,,[brett heard it as jill....n i heard it as chill...lol!!]...he came up to us .......allotted athe seats in the train n our journey started.......
trust me..it was really boring.....we had to spend an entire day in the train nd a night also.......nd no one was willing to talk.......we played some card games but soon the enthusiasm wore off........n we sat lik really dumb ppl....sinan wasnt feelin well so he took leave of our company and took off to a land off limits to all normal ppl[am talkin abt his dreams if u got tht]....soon taha n pratap followed suit,,,,,i roamed abt for sometime...trying not to hav eye contact wid ne senior thinkin tht he would catch me n rag me lik hell!!!! the whole day passed by eventlessly.....we had some few entertaining chats wid the ocassional se n te passerbys....who wer giving all kinds of khunnas stares....lolz!the train food was bad as expected [am sorry i am crazy abt food n i hav to comment on it!!]..as night began to creep.....ppl started markin their berths....i had a middle left one wid rahul opp me.......medha above n dimple below....i constanly made efforts to c tht they didnt get a wink of sleep by banging empty plastic bottles on their berths.......brett was returning the favour by pullin everyones blankett every 2 mins........n then we saw them.....no not seniors! cockroaches!! lolz! we kept flickin the small ones at dimple [who got really pissed after one of the tiny ones climbed into her hair.......i swear dimp i saw it!!! lol!]..pratap taha gurtej aswathi swati wer sleepin in the next berth....soon sleep took hold of us.....nd zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
........to be continued........
Sunday, August 12, 2007
tagged? secrets? wat r these?
well dimple n pratap hav thrown me into this muddy puddle abt revealing my secrets by tagging me.......those who know me will know ..tht i am an open book.....i don hav secrets....watever i feel lik i say it.....therz nothin on ma mind if it s not on my tongue!!!!! but ther r som thins which ppl dont know....................
1. i dont have an ego....at all! its just not there....ppl tell me its really gud if they notice tht...but i really feel i shud hav at least some of it!! thts y i ve nevr been taken seriously! i hav the unique ability to laugh at maself!
2.i am one of the worlds worst liars.........ppl easily come to know wen i lie....i no thts really bad....i cant pretend...nor can i act false.......n i feel its not necessary to do all those shitty things which ppl do jus to make themselves feel falsely superior to others!
3.i was till late a very very shy person.......but it all went away once i stepped into engineering! for a no. of reasons.....the trip...my class...ma frnds.......n i wanna thnk everyone who was responsible in the slightest way possible to bring abt this transition in me!
4. i lik to spend time wid maself.....no i dont call it to be alone.....its spendin time wid oneself...tryin to understand oneself bettr.....i can get lost in ma thots in no time!
5. this one s not from prataps blog.....but i agree wid him on this point.......i hope i dont get married!!! i hav chosen ma words carefully!!! but i sincerely hope i dont.......therz a lot of things u can do if u dont! (contact me i ll tel u personally!)
6.i ve loved to pen down ma thots rite from school days.....i really wish i had kept those diaries!!!!! i love to write!!!!!
7. i am a confused person....in small things lik making small decisions.......but overall i am not confused as i portray maself to be.....i am absolutely clear abt ma life.....
................well... thts all i can think of.......oder thatn tht i don think i hav nething to hide.....adios ppl!
1. i dont have an ego....at all! its just not there....ppl tell me its really gud if they notice tht...but i really feel i shud hav at least some of it!! thts y i ve nevr been taken seriously! i hav the unique ability to laugh at maself!
2.i am one of the worlds worst liars.........ppl easily come to know wen i lie....i no thts really bad....i cant pretend...nor can i act false.......n i feel its not necessary to do all those shitty things which ppl do jus to make themselves feel falsely superior to others!
3.i was till late a very very shy person.......but it all went away once i stepped into engineering! for a no. of reasons.....the trip...my class...ma frnds.......n i wanna thnk everyone who was responsible in the slightest way possible to bring abt this transition in me!
4. i lik to spend time wid maself.....no i dont call it to be alone.....its spendin time wid oneself...tryin to understand oneself bettr.....i can get lost in ma thots in no time!
5. this one s not from prataps blog.....but i agree wid him on this point.......i hope i dont get married!!! i hav chosen ma words carefully!!! but i sincerely hope i dont.......therz a lot of things u can do if u dont! (contact me i ll tel u personally!)
6.i ve loved to pen down ma thots rite from school days.....i really wish i had kept those diaries!!!!! i love to write!!!!!
7. i am a confused person....in small things lik making small decisions.......but overall i am not confused as i portray maself to be.....i am absolutely clear abt ma life.....
................well... thts all i can think of.......oder thatn tht i don think i hav nething to hide.....adios ppl!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Just one step.........
She was panting and coughing. Even her nervous energy was bidding her adios. One look at the hideous monster was enough to make her mouth go dry. She glanced around. There were several people. Laughing, talking ,going about their own business. There was so much of casual attitude around. No one seemed to realize the gravity of her problem. Drops of sweat had already begun to materialize on her forehead at the place where the previous ones had rolled of her pale skin. The creature stared at her with its huge planks going upwards in automation. Petrified, she looked at her feet. She was inches away from where the planks seem to emerge from nowhere. One step was all she needed to take and she would be safe. Trying to muster up enough courage she looked at the people who were dealing with the monster. They seemed to be so relaxed. They had some aura around them which they shared with the monster. They were compatible with it. There were no signs of discomfort at all. One step. She reminded herself. Just one proper step. And it would be over. She raised her foot to step on an approaching plank. they were emerging at a fast rate. She saw an old workwoman step on it and rise with ease. She felt a lot better. If she could do it, I certainly can, she told herself. One impulsive decision and immediately stepped on the approaching plank. She tipped her balance to some extent but quickly regained composure and caught the railing beside it. One step. That’s all it took. Finally amongst all the nervousness, she smiled. She had done it. Her forehead was beaming with confidence, her small shoulders rose and watched the monster with a sense of pride as she approached the second floor of inorbit mall, malad. She, an overweight middle aged woman, from a small town in maharashtra, coming to mumbai for the first time and seeing an ESCALATOR for the first time, had finally mastered the art of riding on an escalator…. She thanked god for it!!!!!
[this may sound stupid but its true….. its all exaggerated but I ve seen these things happen a lot of times….i ve even spoken to one them…..lolzzzzz!!!!!!!!!]
[this may sound stupid but its true….. its all exaggerated but I ve seen these things happen a lot of times….i ve even spoken to one them…..lolzzzzz!!!!!!!!!]
Sunday, June 24, 2007
guitar obsession!!!!!!!!!
i chose this topic coz i ve been through it.......all guys will know what m talkin about.......well u know it all starts with a guy in ur class or locality or among ur friends [usually] plays the guitar really well.......and it sounds so goddamn good to hear him or her play it.......everyone is impressed by his skill....thats wer n wen it all starts..u start to think......wil i b able to play too?
..........everything follows.......detailed information about the sound notes, octaves, chords and god knows what not.......ur friend guides u well and encourages u to buy that thing[will refer to it as the thing from now on].....u go n buy it.......practise it for a month or so and then.........u lose track.......all the interest disappears.....and ur left with one heavy furniture and 3.5 grands less in ur pocket........wat is the reason?....
lets see.......
well////the prob is usually in the startin.....if someone wants to play the guitar only to show off..its bye bye in the first round itself.......then there other set of ppl who want to play the thing because they loved a particular song[i fall in this category coz i wanted to play nothing else matters by metallica desparately].....these ppl gather info about everythin regardin guitars n their notes........but eventually lose out on interest after a while.......then there are those who go all the way to take classes.......they also fall out eventually.....
.......
..........a simple reason for all this!??????????
thats because learning a guitar is goddamn tough!!!!!!! in fact learnin any string instrument is tough!!!! it requires hell a lot of patience which half of the ppl over here dont have!!!!! so the ppl who readin this.....if u havent gone through this........plz make sure u dont run to the shop to get a guitar jus becoz u saw someone playin it!!!!!
[if ur thinkin that this blogger is crazy and wants to discourage buding guitarists jus because he didnt get a guitar of his own to practise on.......UR ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! THE GRAPES R SOUR PPL!!!!]
Saturday, June 23, 2007
henry.......yyyy???
dude.....we all know arsenal sucked this season....but u didnt play at all....wat do u mean ur disgusted with arsenal? its ur bloody responsibility to uphold da club which is responsible for wat u r!!! n ur headin spain? yyy? we all know the gunners are down....but don leave man.....its gonna be tough widout u!!!!!
suicides
well.....u must be wondering y i chose this topic .......no ppl........i dont hav suicidal tendencies (sinan u bastard keep ur mouth shut!!)........but we all have out times wen the pressure gets too much n think of crazy things.......i read this article somewhere about suicides.....its inscribed in ma head forever.....i edited n made a few addtions to it n delivered it as a speech .......for our term work in comm. skills. that is!!!
here goes.....
Sometime back..am iitian commited suicide..ppl who commit suicides think that they have no future, but wait isnt iit one of the most prestigious institution in the world where every student dreams of going? y would a young student who has the world ahead of him do something like this? an the ans lies rite here..........
in our constant reference to the great institution[for i do believe iit s r great]..we for get the dark side...n the dark side is that iitian s r subjected to tremendous academic pressure...probably the highest in the world..i have two choices in front of me..i can go ranting abot the edu system an how it reqires changin or i can do sometin immediate,,,,,,,,try n prevent suicides.....for this lemme tel u wat a frnd of mine tol me who s an iit graduate earnin lik hel in the u.s rite now ....these wer his exact words.......
"" i was in the 9th std wen i first seriously contemplated suicide. i had done badly in ma half yearly chemistry exam . i was an iit aspirant n 72% was nower near an iit aspirant shud get...i had already decided to tak the drastic step..the only hurdle was method....
ironically chemistry offered a soln..i knew copper sulphate was both available easily at the local store an poisonous..i had it worked out.. ma rationale for killin maself was simple..nobody loved me my chem score was bad,n it wud mak no diff to the world if i wasnt der....
i didnt do it..n its funny y i didnt..on the day wen i was gonna do it..i noticed a street dog lyin on the road..nobody loved him, it wud mak no diff to the world if the dog wasnt der..i was pretty sure his chem would be awful..but he wasnt trottin off to the loacal store to buy copp sulphate..he was only interested in his next meal..n wen he was full, he lied in a corner wid one eye closed not carin a damn abt the world..if street dogs wernt givin up wtf was i rantin abt? i threw the copp sulphate in the waste bin.it was the best 40 bucks i ever wasted.........""
so y did i tell u all this? because sometimes the pressure gets too much..lik it did for the iitian..on the day he took that dreadful decision, his family n frnds wer shattered n india lost a bright wonderful child.. so next time u c a distressed young soul..lend a supportive non-judgemental ear..who knows u may be able to sav another bright future..because no matter how tough life gets hoe diff it seems, if street dogs dont giv up, therz no reason y we the smart ones shud..makes sense, right?.....
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